My Genni

My Genni, getting so big - so many questions and answers, such an attitude sometimes and yet such personality. She's learning to much and getting so big so quickly that sometimes I just look at her and wonder how on earth such a big girl could have once been as little as the baby inside me right now. I wonder what she is going to be when she grows up but I don't even want to think about her being that big. I see myself in a lot of the things she does - she pretends to write lists like mommy, she likes to organize her jelly beans into color groups before she eats them so she likes to be organized too, but just like mommy even though she likes things organized she is often OK with leaving things a mess if there are other things to do. She will be short like me the dr thinks, she is barely 30 pounds at 3 1/2 and I'm hoping she has inherited her fathers metabolism (she'll be happy for it in the future!) but she has my blue eyes. Somehow she has developed a very kinesthetic sense of movement, always dancing and she loves tumbling class, we think she might be a dancer when she grows up, I have no clue what side of the family she got that from. She loves to sing and will often break into song and sing verses I never knew she could to songs....it's always impressive to me. Her memory of places and things she has done boggles my mind. She knows exactly where we are in the car and what places are near it if we have ever been there before, remembers things from last spring and summer and even before that, it's uncanny. When we were in Philly in February we went to a museum - she talks about walking through the heart - we watched a video on Benjamin Franklin - she can still tell me about it - I had no idea she was even paying that close of attention to it. I love that she seems to have a natural love of learning (though I suppose all kids could be like this, but I like to think she is special) She has daddy's quick temper and is easily frustrated when things don't work out - it's funny sometimes and I have to try not to laugh in front of her.

Recently she has taken to dressing up in her Halloween costume every chance she gets, it's too small on her now and is becoming a bit tattered but she thinks it will last forever....at least she hasn't asked to wear it out yet..strike that she did want to wear one of her dress-up dresses to the store the other day, and despite parenting magazines that tell us not to fight with our kids about clothes and to let them have their own identity....I told her no and she went to her room to change without much argument. It's going to take a lot to convince me that I should let her wear her halloween costume out in the spring....Guess I'll be accused someday of squashing her creativity and her identity, but I'm not going to allow it if I can help it!

Recently Genni has become addicted to TV - I have always limited how much she watches but now she has become totally engrossed so that I can't get her attention during a show and she spends more time than she used to trying to negotiate more TV time. At least she is still good about shutting it off if I give her enough notice, but she likes it a little too much for me. This summer we will have to be very careful, I'm thinking of instituting a weekends only TV rule....now if I could just get Eric to stick to it too! That is funny!

Although we have kept a pretty good picture and video record of Genni's life it amazes me how far we have come and how quickly it seems to go, I want to make sure that I remember the things that she does that make her special and keep track of how her personality and interests change as she gets older. She is such a loving child and I think as parents we always think about and dread what they might be like as teenagers and as they get older....I want her to stay my cuddly little girl forever, but I want her to grow up and be a confident strong woman who knows what she wants and how to get it. I want her to make a difference if that is what interests her, but I never want to lose those little girl snuggles and kisses and the spontaneous I love you's. I want her to grow up and be successful, but I don't want to let go of having control of her life so that she doesn't get hurt. I'm so nervous about sending her to school and letting other people in on forming her into the person she is meant to be, but I'm a public school teacher and I do believe in the system. I'm afraid our lives our going to change so much when Liam is born in a few weeks, but I can't wait to hold our new little baby in my arms. I know everyone says that we will make the adjustment just fine, but even as much as I already love this baby I'm anxious for the change....I already have so much love for my little girl, I don't want to lose any of that, yet how can I love them both this much? I know my fears and anxiety are the same thing everyone goes through - but now I can look back on this post in a few months and answer my former self on how it's possible to have this much love for two people, and write how my daughter adjusts to it and watch us all grow as a family. Till next time!